Nettie June Covington Brockhaus

Posted by on Feb 26, 2020 in Blog, Obituaries | 0 comments

Nettie June Covington Brockhaus

For the past 55 years, Nettie June Covington Brockhaus has been a well-known and well-liked member of the Noble community. As the owner of Brockhaus Flowers and Gifts, she helped countless brides plan and enjoy their weddings and she was always there for the families of loved ones who had passed away. Employees of Brockhaus Flowers remember Nettie as a “Christmas celebrity,” with customers looking forward to her annual Christmas open house which inspired the start of the town Christmas celebration. Nettie could make a meal in a flash, making a bologna sandwich look like a gourmet meal. She was competitive at cards, and loved OU football and attended many games, home and away. Nettie and James loved to travel, especially with good friends and family. Most important to Nettie was her family, and she made each one feel special and loved. Nettie was an active member of the First Baptist Church of Noble, where she held many positions including teacher of the Mary Martha Sunday school class. Born August 30, 1932, to Hettie Eunice Edwards and Fonzo Robert Covington in McClain County Oklahoma, Nettie was the youngest of nine siblings, all of whom are deceased. They included Lillah Avis Wimpy, Sadie Margaret Bumgarner, William Elvis Covington, Lorene Vara Harris, Laura Corrine Luther, Barney Fonzo Covington, Burl Edwards Covington, and James Bryan Covington. Nettie grew up in Oklahoma and graduated from Washington High School in 1949. She married James Alvin Brockhaus the same year, and they remained married for 70 years. Nettie died peacefully in her home in Noble from complications of Alzheimer’s disease on February 24, 2020, surrounded by family and friends. She is survived by husband, James; daughters, Carolyn Van Dyke and husband Les of Houston, Texas, Diana Long of Oklahoma City, and Becky Howell and husband Mike of Hooker, Oklahoma. She is also survived by grandchildren Debbie Strong, Jennifer Miller, Josh Howell, James Van Dyke, Chris Howell, and Sarah Cunningham. Nettie had 14 great-grandchildren of whom she was equally proud. She is also survived by sister-in-laws Ruth Brockhaus and Polly Hewitt. Funeral services will be held at 1:00 pm on Friday, February 28, at Noble First Baptist Church. Visitation will be at McMahan’s Funeral Home, 616 S. 8th, Noble from 4-7 Thursday, February 27. Memorial contributions can be made to the Southern Cleveland Historical Society and Museum, 302 Chestnut, Noble, OK 73068 or the First Baptist Church, 330 E. Chestnut, Noble, OK 73068.

Helping Your Child Deal With Death

Posted by on Oct 22, 2018 in Blog | 0 comments

When a loved one dies, children feel and show their grief in different ways. How kids cope with the loss depends on things like their age, how close they felt to the person who died, and the support they receive.

Here are some things parents can do to help a child who has lost a loved one:

When talking about death, use simple, clear words. To break the news that someone has died, approach your child in a caring way. Use words that are simple and direct. For example, “I have some sad news to tell you. Grandma died today.” Pause to give your child a moment to take in your words.

Listen and comfort. Every child reacts differently to learning that a loved one has died. Some kids cry. Some ask questions. Others seem not to react at all. That’s OK. Stay with your child to offer hugs or reassurance. Answer your child’s questions or just be together for a few minutes.

Put emotions into words. Encourage kids to say what they’re thinking and feeling in the days, weeks, and months following the loss. Talk about your own feelings: It helps kids be aware of and feel comfortable with theirs. Say things like, “I know you’re feeling very sad. I’m sad, too. We both loved Grandma so much, and she loved us, too.”

Tell your child what to expect. If the death of a loved one means changes in your child’s life, head off any worries or fears by explaining what will happen. For example, “Aunt Sara will pick you up from school like Grandma used to.” Or, “I need to stay with Grandpa for a few days. That means you and Dad will be home taking care of each other. But I’ll talk to you every day, and I’ll be back on Sunday.”

Talk about funerals and rituals. Allow children to join in rituals like viewings, funerals, or memorial services. Tell your child ahead of time what will happen. For example, “Lots of people who loved Grandma will be there. We will sing, pray, and talk about Grandma’s life. People might cry and hug. People will say things like, ‘I’m sorry for your loss,’ or, ‘My condolences.’ Those are polite and kind things to say to the family at a funeral. We can say, ‘Thank you,’ or, ‘Thanks for coming.’ You can stay near me and hold my hand if you want.”

You might need to explain burial or cremation. For example, “After the funeral, there is a burial at a cemetery. The person’s body is in a casket (or coffin) that gets buried in the ground with a special ceremony. This can feel like a sad goodbye, and people might cry.” Share your family’s beliefs about what happens to a person’s soul or spirit after death.

Explain what happens after the service as a way to show that people will feel better. For example, “We all will go eat food together. People will laugh, talk, and hug some more. Focusing on the happy memories about Grandma and on the good feeling of being together helps people start to feel better.”

Give your child a role. Having a small, active role can help kids master an unfamiliar and emotional situation such as a funeral or memorial service. For example, you might invite your child to read a poem, pick a song to be played, gather some photos to display, or make something. Let kids decide if they want to take part, and how.

Help your child remember the person. In the days and weeks ahead, encourage your child to draw pictures or write down favorite stories of their loved one. Don’t avoid mentioning the person who died. Recalling and sharing happy memories helps heal grief and activate positive feelings.

Respond to emotions with comfort and reassurance. Notice if your child seems sad, worried, or upset in other ways. Ask about feelings and listen. Let your child know that it takes time to feel better after a loved one dies. Some kids may temporarily have trouble concentrating or sleeping, or have fears or worries. Support groups and counselingcan help kids who need more support.

Help your child feel better. Provide the comfort your child needs, but don’t dwell on sad feelings. After a few minutes of talking and listening, shift to an activity or topic that helps your child feel a little better. Play, make art, cook, or go somewhere together.

Give your child time to heal from the loss. Grief is a process that happens over time. Be sure to have ongoing conversations to see how your child is feeling and doing. Healing doesn’t mean forgetting about the loved one. It means remembering the person with love, and letting loving memories stir good feelings that support us as we go on to enjoy life.


article referenced:

5 Important Documents to Have In Place Before You Die

Posted by on Sep 22, 2018 in Blog | 0 comments

It may be difficult to come to terms with the fact that you’ll die someday, but death is inevitable.

That’s why it’s important to prepare necessary documents so your family doesn’t end up in a stressful and powerless situation. By designating powers of attorney and heirs, you decide who makes your medical decisions and who receives your belongings.

Let’s go over the legal documents you should have in place before you die so that you remain in control.

Healthcare Power of Attorney

A healthcare power of attorney (POA) is a document appointing someone to make your medical decisions if you’re unable to. This can apply to a variety of situations, such as if you become terminally ill or if you’re temporarily unconscious. It’s important to choose someone you trust, as they’re acting on your behalf for your medical decisions.


There also are several other types of POAs that you can choose to appoint someone as. For a POA to be valid, everyone must sign the document. Depending on your state’s laws, you also may need two or three witnesses to sign as well.



A will is a document stating your heirs, or who will receive your belongings and other assets when you die.


There are a few important steps to follow when writing your will. It’s a good idea to consult an estate attorney when writing your will and determining your assets.


  1. Make sure the document is clearly identified as your will and include your name, social security number, birth date, and other important personal information. Also, confirm that you’re 18 years of age or older and are of sound mind when writing your will.
  2. Choose an executor, which is the person who will carry out your will when you pass away. Make sure they’re willing to have this position and choose an alternate executor in case the first person is unable to fulfill their duties.
  3. Choose your heirs and make sure their names are clearly identified. You may choose primary beneficiaries, such as your spouse and children, along with other heirs. Make sure to check your state’s laws for inheritance.
  4. List all your assets, like your real estate and bank accounts, and choose who gets what percent of your total assets. If you have children, you may want to establish a testamentary trust, which appoints a settlor (establisher of trust), a trustee (overseer of assets), and a beneficiary(s) (receiver(s) of trust benefits). You should also choose a legal guardian for if you have minor or incapacitated children and you pass away.
  5. Sign your will and ask two or three witnesses to sign it as well.

Living Will

A living will is different from a regular will and a healthcare power of attorney. While a regular will comes into effect after you’re deceased, a living will applies if you become incapacitated. It’s also different than a healthcare power of attorney, as it allows you to determine your end-of-life healthcare wishes if you become terminally ill or in a permanent vegetative state.


HIPAA Release

The Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA) states that medical records need to be kept confidential. If you want specific family members to have access to your medical records, you need to complete a HIPAA Release document. By completing the document, your medical provider can share and discuss your medical situation with the specified individuals.


ICE Book of Important Documents

An in case of emergency (ICE) book is a resourceful tool for families to have quick access to your important legal documents.


These are some important documents you should include.

  • Tax returns (at least five years worth)
  • List of bank accounts
  • Medical and dental records
  • Insurance information
  • Birth certificate
  • Social security card
  • List of important passwords
  • Your funeral arrangement wishes

article reference:

Back to School with Grief

Posted by on Aug 20, 2018 in Blog | 0 comments

Back to School with Grief

It’s August which means many families are preparing for the start of school. When families are also grieving,  this transition can bring a mixture relief, dread, excitement, and trepidation.

Much like work for adults, children and teens spend a majority of their time at school, and they take their grief with them. For some children and teens, returning to school is comforting. They find support in the structure, familiarity, connections with friends, and the opportunity to focus on something other than grief. For others though, it can be a challenging venture that brings additional stress, uncertainty, and worry. What to think through and how to help depends on a number of factors. How old is your child and what grade are they in? Who died in their life and what was their relationship? How did the person die? When did the loss occur? There’s no formula for how the answers to these questions affect someone’s grief, but they are important to consider as you sort through how to best support your child or teen in returning to school.

No matter our age, we engage with grief on many levels: emotional, physical, cognitive, spiritual, and behavioral. Whether it’s the emotional ups and downs of relating with peers, focusing on schoolwork, or having to talk about family culture and beliefs for a project, school can be a place that connects with multiple facets of grief. If a death or other loss occurred over the summer, returning to school can be extremely charged. Even for those who are familiar with being in school while grieving, each year brings new challenges and milestones to face without the person who died.

Transitions can be difficult for anyone, but especially so for those who are grieving. As your family moves from the rhythm of summer to school, children and teens may be worried, irritable, or overwhelmed. You can help with this transition by planning ahead and talking with them about upcoming changes related to bed/wake up times, chores, pick-up/drop-off routines, homework expectations, and after school activities. If your child has first day fears about finding their way around or what their teacher(s) will be like, see if you can arrange a time the week before school starts to take a tour and even meet the staff. Knowing what to expect can be reassuring for both children and teens.

One of students’ biggest back to school concerns is wondering who knows about the death and what details they have. If the death happened over the summer, or if your child is going to a new school, ask what they would like shared with teachers and classmates. Your child’s first instinct might be to keep the death a secret. Often they fear being treated differently or being seen as “the kid whose (parent/caregiver/sibling) died.” While it’s important to honor your child’s wishes, talk with them about the challenges of trying to keep the loss a secret. Doing so takes a lot of energy and can limit their ability to open up with friends. The other side is when teachers know your child is grieving, they are better equipped to be supportive and understanding. Depending on the size of your school community, it’s possible that other students already know about the death, whether from social media or the adults in their lives. Given that, talk with your child about the power of being able to tell their own story, rather than people finding out in other ways. For younger children this could mean a teacher telling the class, with or without your child present. With older students, offer to talk with their teachers and also forecast with them what it will be like to tell friends that someone in their life has died.

There are many casual conversations where family and friends may come up. Anything from “What do your parents do?” to “Do you have any brothers and sisters?” to “Why do your grandparents pick you up after school?” can catch your child off guard. It’s helpful for them to have ideas ahead of time for how to respond. We’ve heard over and over how awkward it is for students to return to school and be met with a flurry of “I’m sorry for your loss,” and hugs from classmates they’ve never really talked to before. Teens in particular are sensitive to what they consider to be saccharine sympathy (“Oh you poor thing,”) or people trying to relate by saying, “I know how you feel, my dog died last year.” There’s also the challenge of offhand comments which can be particularly painful for grieving students. Examples include: “This class is killing me,” “My mom is driving me crazy, sometimes I wish she would just die,” and “I’m so bored, I could shoot myself.” Again, it’s useful to talk with your child about these types of comments and strategize replies that work for them. Depending on how the person died, there can be additional challenges related to how other people respond. This is particularly true for deaths that are traditionally met with societal stigma such as suicide, murder, and drug overdose. As one teen in our groups shared, “The challenge with suicide is there are a lot more ways for people to be insensitive about it.” Talking openly with your child about the death and answering their questions is a great way to help them feel more comfortable and secure when faced with judgment from others.

Here are a few other general back to school aspects to consider:

1. Make a difficult day safety plan: Throughout the year, there will be months and days that are more difficult than others. Often these coincide with the approach of significant days. It could be your child’s birthday or the birthday of the person who died, the anniversary not only of the day someone died, but also any other events connected to the death such as a diagnosis, hospital stay, or “first and lasts” (ex. first volleyball tournament since the death, the last time the person who died was at a school event, first field trip without the person there to chaperone, etc.).  No matter the time of year, it’s helpful for children and teens to have a difficult day safety plan in place. Talk with your child first to identify what they need when they feel overwhelmed. Then, collaborate with teachers, counselors, and administrators to identify strategies for your child to access that support. This might look like figuring out a teacher, counselor, or other staff that your child feels safe with and making a plan for how they can leave their classroom to check in with that person. One family used a pebble system where the student could silently place a pebble on the teacher’s desk as a sign that they were going to walk down to the office for a short break with a counselor. Even if your child never implements their difficult day safety plan, it can be very reassuring to have one in place.

2. Find ways for children and teens to check in with you or other caregivers:
After a death, children and teens often fear something will happen to other people in their lives. Going the entire school day without a check-in can be a lot to ask, especially in the first few months after a death. Talk with your child and school staff about how they can check in with you or others at certain times throughout the day. This can be a simple as a quick phone call at the school office or a lunch time text.

3. Plan drop-off and pick-up routines:
If the person who died was a part of a child’s drop-off and pick-up routine, those times of day can be especially difficult. Ask your child ahead of time about these and talk about possible options to problem-solve their concerns. Some will want to keep things as routine as possible while others may want to try out something totally new. Nine-year-old Maya was used to walking her little sister to class every morning. When her sister died over the summer, Maya dreaded walking into school without her sister there to hold her hand. After a few conversations, she and her father realized if Maya could be ready to leave ten minutes early, her father could walk her into school and still get to work on time.

4. Talk about after school rituals: Similar to drop-off/pick-up routines, what after school activities are affected by the death? Is your child used to having a snack and going to the park with his grandmother every day? Did your teen go over to her best friend’s house to work on homework? Not knowing what it will be like can be the hardest part of grief, so work together to come up with an after school plan. This gives your child a chance to talk about what they will miss and be part of coming up with new alternatives they can look forward to.

5. Address challenges with concentration, memory, and school assignments:
Grief can take a toll on our ability to focus and complete tasks. As one teen shared, “Thinking about my sister’s death took up all of my brain space, there wasn’t any room left for algebra.” Many people say they struggle to remember anything from moment to moment, leaving them in need of multiple reminders and strategies to stay organized. The same is true for students. Work with your child and their teacher(s) to come up with ideas for trying to focus and keeping track of schoolwork. One fifth grader picked a homework buddy who promised to check in at the end of the day to make sure he had all the correct worksheets and would also call every night after dinner to see if he had questions about the assignments.

6. Make time for recreation, play, and friends: Grieving students are still children and teens who need time for rest, relaxation, and fun. When school and work get hectic, making plans for connecting and fun can be quickly put aside in an effort to get everything done. Play is how children, especially young children, process and integrate what is happening in their world. If the person who died was an integral part of their play and fun, it’s helpful to be aware that they might be worried about who will do those activities with them now. If your child had a weekend tradition of watching movies or playing video games with their brother, ask if that is something they want to continue to do with someone else or if it’s too painful at this point. Let children know it’s okay to keep traditions or change them up completely. Sometimes a loss can leave a parent or caregiver with significantly less time and financial resources for recreation and play. If this is true, are there people in your community who can step in to help? For many children, knowing they have dedicated time to spend with the adults they care about, no matter the activity, is the most important thing. Sitting down once a day to read a book together, walking the dog after dinner, or even making a pillow and blanket fort are great options for connecting.

7. Find ways to take care of yourself: Research tells us how a grieving child will fare is strongly connected to how their adult caregivers are doing. Self-care is often easier said than done, especially when you are grieving and it feels like one more thing on a very long to-do list. Whether it’s finding time to be by yourself, connecting with others, exercising, getting enough sleep, being creative, or anything else that brings you ease and comfort, attending to the needs of your mind, body, and spirit is one of the best ways you can support your child.

Returning to school is a significant experience for every student and particularly for those who are grieving. No matter how your child feels about the start of school, we hope these ideas and suggestions will provide you with a good foundation for talking with them about their concerns and finding ways for them to feel supported and understood.


Referenced from:

Grief Counseling: Is It For You?

Posted by on Jun 18, 2018 in Blog | 0 comments

Grief Counseling: Is It For You?

Processing grief is a process that is unique to each individual. Some experience a large range of emotions when grieving including a sense of meaninglessness, anger, relief, confusion about missing a painful relationship, regret, guilt, sadness and much more. Grieving behaviors are also unique and can include: crying, laughter, talking a lot, not speaking at all, participating more in physical activities like running, and much more. Each person has their own stressors, an event or experience that can cause stress, that can bring their grief to the forefront. For example, hearing a song on the radio that takes you back to a particular memory.

If you ever feel like you are not coping with your stressors properly or your grief is getting more difficult to deal with, try reaching out to a grief counselor or a grief support group. If you are not sure if therapy is for you look over the following list. If any of the statements fit you, you might benefit from grief therapy.

  • Do you feel uncomfortable with yourself or find yourself unable to function normally?
  • Do you feel like you have no control over your reactions?
  • Do you wonder if your responses are normal, or if they’ve gone on too long?
  • Do feelings of guilt?
  • Did you feel no grief reaction at all after a major loss?
  • Do you have a history of mental illness, drug or alcohol abuse?
  • Do you have anyone to talk to?
  • Do you feel like suicide is your only option to move over grief?

A grief support group is generally a group of individuals who discuss their grief and tell stories about their lost loved ones. If you would like to meet others who understand what you are going through, a support group may be for you.  These groups help those who need to talk about their feelings and find relief in reciprocal sharing. If you give a support group a try, do go to more than one meeting. See if you feel comfortable with the facilitator and the group of mourners in your group. If that particular group is not your fit, it is okay to leave and join another one.

If are looking for individual guidance, then grief therapy is your route. You can seek a counselor who will listen and teach you coping mechanisms to handle your grief. It is important to deal with your grief to move forward in life.

Remember, grieving doesn’t mean to “learn to forget someone” but instead learn how to “continue living without them”.

Not Your Standard Funeral

Posted by on May 9, 2018 in Blog | 0 comments

Not Your Standard Funeral

We have all at one point in time heard or been part of the debate, cremation vs burial.

But have you heard about a green burial?

The purpose of a green or natural burial is to reach complete decomposition of the body, so the land can return to just soil.  To do so only biodegradable materials are used without a concrete burial vault. Not only can a green burial be cheaper, but it also helps reduce the amount of damage we cause to the earth.

By choosing a green burial we are helping decrease the number of resources we use for a typical funeral. Every year cemeteries bury over 30 million board feet of hardwood, 17,000 tons of steel and copper in vaults, 90,000 tons of steel in caskets and 1.6 million tons of reinforced concrete in vaults.

Green funerals, depending on your area, can be cheaper than a standard funeral because no fancy caskets, concrete vaults or embalming is involved. Some families even supply their own coffin or shroud to further cut down on cost. Another route families choose is to opt out of using a cemetery. Some choose to bury their loved one on their own land. Each state and county have their own regulations for home burial, but it is possible.

Even though green burials are becoming more popular, it is important to remember that this option is not completely new. This is the way our ancestors used to bury their loved ones. In fact, some cultures still use “green” methods for their funerals.

What do you think, will you go green?

Digital Inheritance: Who Gets Your Facebook Account?

Posted by on Apr 18, 2018 in Blog | 0 comments

Digital Inheritance: Who Gets Your Facebook Account?

When you visit a financial planner, they help you plan your tangible assets like money, real estate, personal possession, etc. But what happens to digital assets like your online banking information, email and social media accounts?

The first thing you should do is make a list of every website and online accounts you have including PayPal, Netflix, Shutterfly and any other websites you visit.

Step two: decide how you want each site to be handled after your death. You should decide if your accounts will be deleted, forwarded to a loved one or memorialized, if available.

Step three: deciding who should handle your digital affairs.

Lastly, make sure to keep your list of accounts in a safe place and make sure it stays updated. If your electronic devices like laptops or phones are locked, make sure at least one person you trust knows the password.

If you are unsure what you want to happen to your online accounts, read each site’s policy. Google allows you to set a timeframe of inactivity before your information deletes or is transferred to someone of your choosing. Facebook also allows you to decide what happens to your account.

It is important to start to think about how you want your digital presence to handle after your passing because a lot of our personal information is now online.

Who do you trust to handle your digital affairs?

Continuing your Family Legacy through Food

Posted by on Mar 20, 2018 in Blog | 0 comments

What is the meaning behind a family legacy? When close friends, family and loved ones pass away they leave with us gifts that remind us of them even after they’ve passed. From photos, journals, and even handwritten recipes passed down through generations.

The tradition of food has always brought people together; during the best of times, and the worst of times. Often some of our strongest memories revolve around food – whether it be homemade biscuits and gravy that you made alongside with your Grandma on a Sunday morning or enjoying any number of homecooked meals growing up.

Saving old family recipes can sometimes be a daunting task. All depending on the quality of saved recipes. If you’re gathering recipes, and planning on making them into a book, check out these resources to get you started:

While there’s a lot to be said about converting recipes into digital form it’s important to pay tribute to all the originals; like adding in ‘pinches’, ‘dashes’, and ‘scoops’ to make the perfect nostalgic meal from your childhood.  Bringing your family recipes to the digital age is important as well. To ensure they are saved and can be enjoyed by future generations to come.

How To Prepare Your Loved Ones For An Inheritance

Posted by on Feb 20, 2018 in Blog | 0 comments

Dealing with the loss of a parent is already a confusing and an emotional time. Real life isn’t like the movies as when you die you take all your worries with you and your kids easily receive your inheritance. There are fees, taxes and much more your child will have to deal and sort through. Help make the process easy for them by preparing your finances and talking to your children.

Schedule a meeting with a financial advisor and begin the process of choosing your beneficiaries. Your advisor will explain to you what exactly are your options. Once you have made your decisions set up another meeting with your advisor and your children. It will be extremely helpful if they exchange information because your advisor will be able to walk your children through the process once you are gone. They will be able to explain IRA rollover and be updated on any new changes that might have occurred.

Your advisor might suggest for you to visit with a lawyer to set up a will. A will isn’t necessary but it will make everything go much smoother after you have passed. You will be able to decide how your family will handle your properties and belongings. If there is a special painting you want a niece or cousin to have, you can put that in your will and they will be able to receive it. You can add any funeral preplanning details you have done into your will. A will saves your family from arguing over how to handle your affairs.

Talking to your loved ones about how to handle your estate after you are gone, isn’t signing your death certificate. It is alleviating them from having stress and arguing with loved ones in the future. If you have any questions about preplanning give our office a call, 405-872-3466.

Dealing with the Unexpected Holiday Grief

Posted by on Dec 15, 2017 in Blog | 0 comments

The holiday season may not be so jolly for most. At any time, grief can sneak up and magnify your emotions. The realization of your loved one not being there for another part of your life is difficult; it sucks. The question of “should you hide your grief or let it out” is one that needs to be answered.

How you choose to grieve during the holidays is up to you.

It is healthy to speak about the loved one who died.

It is healthy to lose your motivation to put on a cheery face.

It is also healthy to reminisce about the good times.

If you ever feel your way of dealing with grief isn’t healthy, talk to someone. Understand that if you need a day apart from everyone, take it. Just be careful to not completely miss the chance of creating new memories with others.

If it is painful to do old traditions, change them a little bit. You will not be dishonoring your loved one. In fact, you can add a new tradition to honor them. Adding or creating a new tradition has helped many to deal with grief during the holidays.

If you are grieving during the holidays, know that you are not alone. It is okay to feel weird going through the holidays without that special someone. After a loved one dies, everything changes. It is up to us to rebuild our lives and live through the holidays.